3/05/10 - Breaking Brando
March 5th, 2010
Breaking Brando: Hulk Hogan’s Rock n’ Wrestling Update
|BRANDO'S REVIEW: HULK HOGAN'S ROCK N' ROLL WRESTLING|
Whoever thought of making a cartoon out of a wrestling show was a complete moron. Since I'm a hip guy in my early 20s, I don't even watch REAL wrestling. So a cartoon version just lost my attention right away.
I'm glad that this "Breaking Brando" stint was only for the month of February because the last few suggestions were just plain boring. Although, if you have any suggestions for something from before my time (1986) then e-mail us.
In order to keep this somewhat entertaining, I have provided you with this classy clip of dogs humping:
February 26th, 1010
Breaking Brando: Plastic Balloon Update and Hulk Hogan’s Rock n’ Wrestling
In an attempt to introduce Producer Brandon to awesome things invented before 1986 (the year he was born) every week we will present something undiscovered by Brandon. These items are handpicked by me, but feel free to send your suggestions to email@example.com. Last week, Brando was introduced to the "Plastic Balloon" for the first time. Here's his review:
|BRANDO'S REVIEW: PLASTIC BALLOON|
I do not see the appeal in this toy and I would have never have played with this as a kid... I can't wait for wrestling week next week.
This week we introduce Brando to a Saturday morning cartoon favorite of mine Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling. I was tipped off to the fact that Brando was unaware of the cartoon when I started quizzing him on (in my opinion) the coolest wrestlers from the 80’s: Andre’ the Giant, George the Animal Steele, Capitan Lou Albano and my favorite The Ultimate Warrior. The only one he knew was Andre the Giant, which I suspect is because of The Princess Bride. “Anybody want a peanut?”
For those of you youngsters who bypassed our 18 and older screen, the WWE used to be WWF but they had to change their name because of environmental activists…who ruin everything.
In the middle of the World Wrestling Federation’s heyday, they actually had enough interest to put out a cartoon featuring their own wrestlers, or what I would refer to these days as brand marketing to children via a twenty two minute long commercial and passing it off as entertainment.
However, when the show ran from 1985 to 1986, I was far less cynical than I am these days. This was probably due to the fact that I was only six years old at the time and the Detroit Tigers had just won the ’84 World Series. It was the only time in my life that I had everything going for me; my outlook was sunnier and thus it was much easier to enjoy an artsy project like Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling.
The show featured the likenesses of the wrestlers but voice actors played the cartoon characters. Hulk Hogan for instance, was voiced by Brad Garrett ofEverybody Loves Raymond. Hulk Hogan was the leader of the good guys: Junkyard Dog, Captain Lou Albano, Andre’ the Giant, Wendi Richter, Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Hillbilly Jim and Tito Santana. Rowdy Roddy Piper was the head of the bad guys: The Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, The Fabulous Moolah, Big John Studd and Mr. Fuji. There were also often appearances by Mean Gene Okerlund, who would randomly pop into a scene with a microphone. Pimp.
In case you’ve never had the opportunity to enjoy Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling here is an oldie but a goodie: The Battle of the Bands episode:
Check back next week to see what Brando had to say about Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling. And remember, it could have been worse:
February 19th, 2010
In an attempt to introduce Producer Brandon to awesome things invented before 1986 (the year he was born) every week we will present something undiscovered by Brandon. These items are hand picked by me, but feel free to send your suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Last week, Brando was challenged to watch the tv show "Perfect Strangers" for the first time. Here's what he had to say:
|BRANDO'S REVIEW: PERFECT STRANGERS|
After I was given the privilege to try and track down this sensational TV show, I had no idea what Perfect Strangers was. The only place that we could find it was on Netflix, but apparently it's so good, no copies were available. I even ventured the used DVD aisles, but no luck! So I resorted to YouTube for this review. I happened to catch a few clips of the TV show, and I must say I was missing out on nothing at all. I'm glad I happened to have been in a bong haze while watching it because I got a few chuckles out of the foreigner's accent! I must say that this is a cheesier TV show than the area between Arnie's gut and his crotch.
This week we will introduce Brandon to a childhood toy familiar to any kid born before 1980 who had parents that were not concerned with “toxins”. Before people were scared of buying toys from China, before lead poisoning existed, there were Plastic Bubbles:
Granted, there were plenty of toy companies who produced the Plastic Bubble and they went by many different names, but the same idea applied, a tube and a tiny straw:
- Open the tube
- Squeeze the Magic Goo out of the tube
- Roll it into a ball
- Place the ball of goo onto the end of the tiny straw
- Blow into the other end of the tube
- A bubble will form, Pull it off the tube and close the hole in the bubble (which will pretty much happen naturally because the consistency of the goo is so tacky)
- Now you have a bubble you can play with that will last way longer than a normal bubble
I still laugh when I think about how Plastic Bubbles were given to us by parents as party favors for a child’s birthday, rather than viewed as toys that emit fumes and might lead us to huffing in our teen years. Not to mention the cocaine straw that looks like it belonged in a bathroom somewhere in 1982.
I also laugh when I think about how you would get instant confirmation that a kid was retarded if he tried to suck in the goo through the tube instead of blowing a bubble.
For more information on the plastic bubble click here:
Check back next week to see what Producer Brandon has to say about The Plastic Bubble.