March 26th, 2012 -- The Struggles, The Fun Part
Okay so I don’t mean fun like ha ha fun or jumping for joy fun or skipping around crazy happy fun. Last week Rob was reading a story about the high percentage of adults anywhere from 18 to mid 30’s who live at home proudly. Not unhappily like they fell on hard times and are sucking it up living at home while trying to get back on their feet, no actually happy and content with no plans of moving out or trying to better themselves. So of course we got into a conversation about it with Rob and Arnie calling them losers, bums and pathetic…now while I don’t agree with what these grown adults are doing I also don’t feel the need to name call, Rob says that’s part of the problem because we need to shame them, we will just continue to disagree on that one! Personally I grew up with LOTS of negative dysfunction around me and for me it wasn’t the negativity or shame that motivated me it was the goodness that I saw around me that existed and I wanted to be a part of that. Luckily some of that goodness came from my father and when I was growing up before and after the divorce and was able to visit him he showed me the value of hard work, standing on your own two feet making your own money and learning how to be independent. My father was a great provider, he took care of the family financially when he was married to my mother and then when he remarried he took care of his new wife. Ironically while he was always the provider for the women in his life, he wanted me to be strong and be able to provide for myself when I got out into the world. I treasure and value that gift he gave me, while understanding not everyone is/was taught the same as I was, so shaming them to me the only thing it would do I guess is make me feel like I am better than them??? What’s the point in that??? So once again I will flunk out of the Rob and Arnie way of life School!!! So be it!
Getting back to ‘the stuggles, the fun part’…… I watched my father work long hard hours, I watched him working his ass off to make sure we had a roof over our head and food on the table while he also attended night school to try and advance himself at work. When I think of my father (god rest his soul) that’s the first thing that comes to mind ‘hard work.’ Do I think my father always enjoyed working so hard trying to provide? Of course not, do I think my father enjoyed worrying about money and trying to figure out how to make the money last? Of course not. But I do know that it made him the man he was, those hard times helped to mold him, make him proud of himself that he did it and figured it out, it brought a depth to him, it helped mold his strong awesome character. So that’s what I mean when I say the ‘struggles the fun part.’ Just because you didn’t have parents that taught you the value of earning your own money and being on your own, doesn’t mean you can’t achieve that mindset. And it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve that GOOD feeling of doing for yourself. Look around you, you see many people standing on their own two feet and you may think you aren’t strong enough but you are, we are always stronger than we think. At first it’s scary and it sucks and you will probably fall on your face a bunch but you just get up and keep going, you will look back with amazement on how far you have come. And when the struggles of life come around again, because they will, that’s just life you will once again fall down and get back up but each time these phases of struggles occur in your life you will each time be stronger, better equipped and the struggles seem a tab bit easier to handle and the depth of you is stronger along with your character… Wonderful!